To Thine Own Self Be True. Those of us and Recovery know all too well that the life we were living was not a life-based in truth. We did not want to face the truth. Even as a child, the truth about who I thought I was generated much pain. I was a very imaginable child who often used escape as a mechanism for setting aside or diminishing the emotional pain. When you think you come from nothing it means you are a nothing and when you project that out you will always be a nothing. That wasn’t easy for me to translate as a child. Trying to process that as a young adult became increasingly more difficult. I always remember the first time I had a drink of alcohol it was to get away with something. I was 14 years old and obviously was not allowed legally, socially, or within my family to drink. So, the reasons that I drank was purely based on rebellious behavior. The subsequent times that I drank and eventually begin experimenting with drugs was how it made me feel the first time I used. I went from a person who came from nothing, was nothing, and always going to be nothing to what I called an “almost.“ I lived a lie for so long it took me a few years into my recovery to even sort out some things to see if there was some truth to it or completely fabricated. Bill Wilson, the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, stated “we no longer are able to differentiate the true from the false.” This was so evident in my life. The truth of who I thought I was and what I had become was far too painful to face head-on. Once I came to recovery and realized that the H.O.W stood for honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. I realized I had to be true.

In defining “True” we find it is being in accordance with the actual state of affairs. In other words, I had to fully examine myself, come into alignment with it, and begin the path “To Thine Own Self Be True.” It wasn’t so much that I wanted to be true. I came to believe that continuing to live the lie would result in my death. I was more afraid of dying because of lying then I was telling the truth to live. Becoming true was the goal, but getting there was a daily challenge. Since it had been so long I was truthful and in some ways, never truthful, getting there was a process, not an event. Once I began this journey of truth, I started to feel a sense of relief and freedom that I had sought with alcohol and drugs. As I went further down this path of being true, I realized, despite who I had become, being true to who I was and who I could be was my new true. The reality was I was never anything even though it felt that way. I was somebody and came from someone. Because I unmasked both of those elements of the lie the third part was found to be a lie as well. The truth was I could be something of value because I already was a person of value. Since then, my journey of being true to myself has been the most amazing ride. Not only have I been alcohol and drug-free since April 25, 1986. I consider truth my greatest asset instead of my darkest refuse. To Thine Own Self Be True is a daily goal of mine. I can become even more truthful as each day passes. I hope you find the freedom that being true to your own self can bring. With each truth comes more freedom and with more freedom comes more joy. Be well and stay blessed

Robert Pardon

Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.

All posts by Robert Pardon