Relationships That Work Take Work. One of the most important aspects of the most personal relationships is the concept of “The Love Bank.” This is a concept developed and taught by Dr. Harley, founder of Marriage Builders.
Laura and I were first introduced to this relationship approach 29 years ago. To this day we still actively employ these methods. I am convinced this is why the love and like that Laura and I share continues to increase. Our love and life remains vibrant while in a constant state of growth. I believe this concept has universal application. I will share with you how we use it in our marriage and you can likewise apply to your most sacred relationship(s). You might even want to explore how the principals embedded in the Love Bank can improve and grow any area of importance. “Marriages are not complete, vibrant and fulfilled on their own. Marriages take work. Marriages take both husband and wife understanding the needs of each other and being willing to make regular deposits based upon the needs of that person.” Dr. Harley
Laura and I are acutely aware of this. When we were faced with the problems of our marriage we had to;
- Re-new our commitment to one another and ask God’s forgiveness for forgetting our vow to Him and each other.
- Recognize our personal responsibility in the marriage.
- Make a commitment to learn the needs of one another.
- Begin making regular deposits into the account of each of those needs.
- Limit the unnecessary withdrawals based upon selfishness.
- Remember that love is a verb as well as a noun.
- Ask the tough questions of our spouse no matter how painful and act upon the response.
- Let our spouse know that they are the most important person in our life and that their Love Bank Account is more
important than our bank account.
I am convinced that if we do this over time marriages on the brink of divorce can not only be restored, but even become a
testimony of God’s power and love in our life.
Whatever you do today please do not sit there and say my marriage is fine and this does not apply to me. I challenge you
to put my previous suggestion to the test and ask your husband/wife “How is our marriage” or “If I could change some things what would they be”? Then be quiet and listen without speaking. Why settle for a good or average marriage when we can have the best?
Robert Pardon
Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.
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