When I first came to recovery I was told that I only had to change one thing. Not too bad, right? Who can’t change just one thing? This certainly piqued my interest, so I decided to ask them what that one thing was. Their response was humorous and challenging at the same time. That one thing was EVERYTHING. However, before I would go to that extent, I had to be convinced that the person I was doing that for was worth it. When someone comes from the personal place you and I and other people with addictive or behavioral problems have come from and having done the things that we have done and harm the people we have harmed we don’t have a very high positive view of who we all are. I was so relieved when I was told that I wasn’t a bad person trying to get better, I was a sick person trying to get well. Granted, I did some very bad things while I was under the control of a substance and behavioral patterns that made decisions for me. The big book of alcoholics anonymous on page 30 points this out nicely: “we are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse never better.” So, what I had to do was define me by who I was not by what I did. Once I began to change my view of me it’s served to minimize that negative reinforcement I would use that kept me from having a higher view of me. Here are a list of things that I’ve found it necessary over my years of development. I have done these things and I continue to do these things as a part of my ongoing recovery. In the beginning, I did them because I had to today I do them because I want to.

• I must stop drinking and or using including negative behavior if my addiction isn’t substance related.
• I must begin viewing myself as someone of value.
• I must begin associating with people who will help reinforce my new direction and my view of me.
• I must begin working a program that supports positive light changes.
• I must develop a relationship with a power greater than me.
• I must daily recommit to my new path.
• I must become accountable to someone who is living the life I want to acquire.
• I must change old playgrounds and old playmates.
• I must become grateful for what hasn’t occurred along with the new positive things that are occurring.

These are just some of the things that I learned to do and I still do to this day. Again, the only difference is why I do them. Do I do them out of a sense of fear or do I do them from a sense of joy and freedom. Maybe your list is up a little different. If what you’re doing is working and you are achieving your goal of viewing yourself as a person of value, then that’s all I want for you. How you get there is incidental. I hope this information has been helpful. I hope you listen to Recovery Guy Podcast, on all the major podcast channels. Please go to our Patreon page to see how you can support this Recovery Movement. Above all, keep it one day at a time.

Robert Pardon

Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.

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