As you know, there was a period in my life where I was obese. Today, I am happy to say I weigh 228 pounds and outside of wishing I were years younger; I am in particularly good physical condition. There was a time when I weighed 395 pounds and was not in good condition. I had an enlarged heart; I had a nonfunctioning gallbladder that had been surgically removed and other physical problems. I suffered from complex sleep apnea and needed to sleep with a V-Pap machine to keep my oxygen saturation level high enough so I would not die in my sleep.
One of the most challenging things for me after I had lost substantial weight was viewing myself as a person who was within a safe weight range. I was no longer morbidly obese, I no longer suffered from complex sleep apnea and my heart was functioning in a much safer range. One thing that did not change was how I viewed myself. I still saw myself as an overweight person and not attractive. One day I looked in the mirror and saw myself in a way that I had not seen myself in a long time. I saw myself as a person who was physically fit and not overweight. This was two years after my weight loss. It was similar in my recovery journey from alcohol and drugs. It took me a while to view myself as a person who was committed to my personal sobriety. One of the things that Les Brown says “sometimes you have to believe in someone else’s belief of you until your own belief kicks in.” This is true in our recovery journey. Somewhere along the line, I need to begin to see myself as the positive change person that I am becoming. If I still see myself in a particular net negative light, I will act in that negative perspective. Only when I begin to see myself as a person who can accomplish important things and influence wonderful people will I reach a state of positive enlightenment.
When I begin to see myself in this new light, I will be further encouraged to act in a positive manner that got me to that thinking in the first place. It was Einstein who said I cannot think my way into good living, but I could live my way into good thinking. In other words, without action all my thoughts are non-productive. Once I combine the action with the words, I can achieve a great degree of accomplishment. I will no longer be the hypocritical person who says they want one thing but acts in a completely different manner. I want to see myself in a positive light that brings a positive light to the people, places, and things around me. One of the things I learned early on in goal setting was those goals needed to be achievable, measurable, written, and actionable. This is the foundation of personal accomplishment. So, I need to do a couple of things, with the first one is to conduct myself in an action that is consistent with who I say I want to be.
I need to surround myself with people who are going in the same direction that I have decided to go in. As stated, “water seeks its own level.” Maybe you have heard something to the effect of “a rising tide lifts all boats.” Both are true. If I am a person of action who decides to see myself in a positive light, I am more likely to be attracted to others who strive for the same thing. Also, when I put myself around this type of person, I tend to grow with them and promote growth around them. As they begin to see me as this newly changed enlightened person, I will become encouraged because the work I am putting in will be seen by others. That will further allow me to see myself in a positive light, which will in turn encourage me to continue my journey. How I see myself is foundational to my being complete as a person.
Robert Pardon
Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.
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