Every person who accomplishes something great rarely achieves the result on their own. At the time the value of other’s contribution is lost in the moment. Sometimes, we like to think that we had an original idea, which is exceedingly rare. We may have an idea that is piggybacking off something else. Most things original are another version of something that has been previously done. Once we realize that we received help along the way it elevates those who have made a difference in our life. The value of others contributing is expanded in the moment rather than lost. If we lose them in the moment, we do not carry them forward with us and that would be unfortunate.
Most all children are better off knowing their family heritage. If you look at sociology and the decline of civilization and certainly quality of life in America it is because of the eroding of the nuclear family. Children have less familiarity or association with those who came before them and therefore they do not understand who they are or where they came from. Any child knowing where they come from is more powerful in their personal identity.
I will take it to another degree in that understanding our family heritage is instrumental in anyone’s personal development. As a testimony to that I am going to share with you some of the names of those who stand out as significant to me in my life. Maybe you have your own list. Maybe you have a nuclear group of individuals who have been instrumental in the positive development in your life. I know we can always come up with the list of those who have made things difficult for us, but what about those who have made a difference in a positive way in our life and certainly in our personal recovery. Let me say in advance that the list is much longer than what I will discuss today.
Suffice it to say the list is as long as I want it to be. Once again, do you have a list? My list is important, but your list is more important. My list is important to me and it may be entertaining to you but there will not be any personal connection which means it will have limited value to you as a person. Those who were on my list had been significant in several different ways. Some have taught me only in one area and yet that one area was so significant that to mention them would be to negate an immensely powerful influence in my life. So again, questions I would ask you are;
- Who is on your list?
- Why are they on your list?
- How are they impacting you to this day?
- Finally, do we contribute to others as others have contributed to us?
The first person who comes to mind is my dear friend and current Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor is Slow Will. Will, was so instrumental in my life and to this day plays a significant role. Will was so important to me after my relapse in that if it were not for his couch and his hospitality, I would had been homeless. Will had a simplistic approach to the program of recovery and helped keep me stay focused on the nuts and bolts of getting and staying sober. More recently, will has become my sponsor. In the passing of my dear friend and sponsor Jack Fisher in January of 2019 Will took over that role. It seemed to make perfect sense since will knew me from the beginning.
Another person who was instrumental in my early recovery and helped me along the way is Scott Shields. Scott has 37 years of personal recovery and Scott taught me early on how to not take myself too seriously. Scott taught me how to separate the seriousness of my addiction and how I viewed the plan of recovery but how to take myself with a grain of salt and to go enjoy life without fear of everything around to me. Because of Scott’s influence I was convinced I could go anywhere and do anything providing my motives were correct.
To keep things brief today, I will mention one more person and this person is Jack Fisher. Jack was my sponsor and dear friend for 32 years. Jack’s example of simplicity and a basic approach to recovery was so important when I needed it most. Jack had a way of emotionally holding my hand that would calm me down long enough so I could process things clearly to make an appropriate and positive decision. Jack was famous for the KISS motto. As if he were telling me today, he would close most all conversations with “keep it simple sweetheart.” Jack passed away with 44 years of personal recovery and was a giant in the recovery movement and made a life of serving others. After my relapse at 71 days of personal recovery I asked Jack what if anything would guarantee my continual sobriety. Jack’s response and encouragement was to make a career of serving others. My level of service today is a direct extension of Jack’s direct impact into my life.
I know I would not be everything that I am today without the encouragement of those I have mentioned and countless others. I often wonder if I would even be alive without their influence at impact. I hope you have a list of those along your way who have made a substantial and lifelong impact into your life.
Robert Pardon
Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.
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