When it comes to addiction and codependency we must look at and consider the role That family dysfunction, please. There is an association out there called ACA. This organization addresses issues that stem from family dynamics that are part of the building blocks for any family dysfunction. Adult Children of Alcoholics primarily focuses on children who are specifically in that category but just like alcoholics anonymous, the 12 steps of recovery or design for living that can be used universally. If you read or reference any sociology or psychology or psychiatric handbook regarding family dysfunction similar conclusions will be found. One of the most interesting characteristics is that each child in the family plays a role in keeping the unbalanced family appearing balanced. These identities are comprised of age, gender, birth order, and whether the father, mother, or both are addicted. Obviously, when it comes to alcohol and drug addiction there is an ongoing conversation regarding nature versus nurture. There are countless clinical Studies that indicate a DNA connection and yet that always isn’t enough. The DNA connection increases a person’s likelihood, but it doesn’t dictate it. That is why, you will see in many families, but only one or two children may have a substance abuse addiction. Upon further inspection, we will see that everyone has been affected and it not only adjust how they live as a child but will also dictate to that how they interact as an adult and even formed the framework for their relationships in life.
Per Restored Hope Counseling Services, there are major personality traits that each child takes to create a sense of homeostasis with the family dynamic. Children may take on multiple characteristics if that is what it takes to achieve the appearance of balance.
Homeostasis is defined as a relatively stable state of equilibrium or a tendency toward such a state between the different but interdependent elements or groups of elements of an organism, population, or group.
Golden Child/Hero/Saint
This child is the favorite, the one who can do no wrong, the perfect child.
Troublemaker/Scapegoat/Black Sheep
In opposition to the golden child, this is the child upon whom all the blame falls for the family problems.
Lost Child
The lost child naturally coincides with the golden child or troublemaker.
Peacemaker/Mediator
The peacemaker is often found in the middle of arguments.
Mascot/Class Clown
The mascot is the family member who lightens the mood when things are getting tense or family problems are rising to the surface.
Caretaker/Enabler
A caretaker is someone who takes on the responsibilities of others in the family and tries to save them from the consequences they might face.
Doer
This member of the family acts and gets things done.
Martyr
Taking the doer role a step further, the martyr makes sure everyone knows how much he or she is sacrificing for the family.
Understanding the dynamics and the personalities required to create, promote, and prolong the Family Dysfunction will serve to dismantle it them our life and the lives of those we encounter along the way. Let me know if I can assist you along your way.
To support our Recovery Guy movement monthly, please find our Patreon link via our website or www.patreon.com/recoveryguy