During this holiday season, one of the best things we can do is be secured in our healthy boundaries. Without boundaries, we have no defense against negativity creeping in or our goodness escaping. The Bible says that “a city without walls cannot stand.“ Today, I want to talk about boundary number 6. In this boundary, it is to “Consider Your Past and Present. “
How you were raised along with your role in your family can become additional obstacles in setting and preserving boundaries. If you held the role of caretaker, you learned to focus on others, letting yourself be drained emotionally or physically. Ignoring your own needs might have become the norm for you. Also, think about the people you surround yourself with. Are the relationships reciprocal? Is there a healthy give and take?
Without a healthy give and take there will not be balanced and without balance, the relationship will not last. No one likes to consider themselves as the only person who gives. We become bitter over time and begin to demand that the other person gives instead of learning to be patient and receive. If we happen to be in that type of relationship, we need to get out or reduce our expectations.
Beyond relationships, your environment might be unhealthy, too. For instance, if your workday is eight hours a day, but your co-workers stay at least 10 to 11, “there’s an implicit expectation to go above and beyond” at work. It can be challenging being the only one or one of a few trying to maintain healthy boundaries. Again, this is where tuning into your feelings and needs, and honoring them becomes critical.
Considering my past and present is necessary to all aspects of my life, but most importantly in relationships. When I view my past and compare it to the present I will either see growth or a negative pattern. The negative pattern to indicate that personal growth is needed. If I see growth as the primary component, then I need to continue on that path and enjoy the results I am experiencing.
Considering My Past and Past is critical for me to self-evaluate as I strive for personal growth.
Robert Pardon
Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.
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