“Gratitude grounds us. Focusing on the good things in your life shifts our perspective. It keeps you from overlooking the gifts that are easy to take for granted, which makes you feel more generous, compassionate, and whole. “
~Cory Allen
Gratitude is the single most powerful discipline for recovery. It has the power to transform your current circumstances from hopeless to hopeful with a simple, yet powerful mindset shift. What if you already have everything you need to be whole? What if your current circumstances are the exact path you need for joy? I know what it feels like to lose the most meaningful relationship in your life to addiction. I know what it feels like to face the mortality of my child, to bury my father, a best friend. I know in all this what it feels like to have peace. How? Incorporating the powerful perspective shift to gratitude and thankfulness.
This choice to be grateful for challenges and to be thankful is easier at times than others. But it is always possible. The discipline comes in being aware of when our thoughts start spinning in the past (which is unchangeable), when they shift to the future (anxiety over an unknown), or when they start being about someone else’s choices or actions. When my thoughts travel to these unproductive places, I ground myself with gratitude. I audibly say three things for which I am grateful. I need to hear myself say them aloud.
My mind needs to hear me say it. I begin creating new neural pathways. I come back to the present. I want to be good in this moment. At times, it could be as simple as being grateful for the sun, a roof over my head, or something that I enjoyed eating. As the practice becomes more a part of my life it becomes so easy to see that almost everything in my life is a grace. . . the sunrise colors, the laughter of my staff, the hug from my child, the wag of my dog’s tail when she sees me, the text from a friend, the medication that allows my son to live, there are a million little blessings every day— that when acknowledged, add up to a beautiful life. I introduced my kids to this discipline about 6 years ago. When they would complain about a circumstance, I would listen, allow the complaint to be expressed, and then I would ask them to say three things for which they were grateful. It was met with eye-rolls and sighs at first.
But then over time, it became easy for them to rattle off gratitude. It was years later that science bore out research that proved that our mind cannot simultaneously hold space for anxiety and gratitude at the same time. Isn’t that powerful? We can shift our thoughts from anxiety using gratitude. Now I am not suggesting thinking your way out of a panic attack or minimizing the impact of anxiety on someone’s life. I am suggesting we can short-circuit the anxious thoughts that come at us when we are not present.
If the practice of breath and coming back to our bodies through breathing is effective, how much more so if, with every breath, we can speak of a grace we are aware of in this very moment? I received a beautiful gratitude journal in the mail from a fellow Al-Anon that I met through Instagram when my son was in the cardiac ICU. It remains a favorite gift. And it reminded me again of the power this practice has when circumstances are out of my control. I was able to sleep, stay present with my son, and thank God for the gift of modern medicine, friendship, and my son’s fierce spirit. My encouragement to you and this discipline is to try it. I dare you to say three things aloud daily that you are grateful for the next 30 days. I can tell you after doing that for over six years, it has changed the way I view difficulties in life.
I recently heard it suggested that you make a gratitude list that includes one thing you are grateful for each year of your life and then continue to add to it. I like that too… I just require revisiting that list daily. My stinking thinking is still a work in progress.
I will leave you with one of my favorite verses from an ancient poet: “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Rumi
Suzy, I love your thoughts on gratitude and how you integrated these with a focus on mindfulness within the sacrament of the present moment. It shows through in your optimism that you have and are making this a practice. In Fosters book on the disciplines he refers to celebration as the discipline of “offering up the sacrifice of thanksgiving,” which scripture call the fruit of our lips giving praise to His name. I love coffee as much or more that most, but Foster adds, “Before long, we will find ourselves taking a “thanksgiving” break rather than a coffee break at ten and at two. Soon so rich and full will be our experience that we will desire to be continually in His presence with thanksgiving in our hearts. And all of this will be occurring while we are carrying out the demands of our days—eating, working, playing, even sleeping. Belief in God turns into acquaintanceship and then into friendship. We look into the face of God until we ache with bliss; as Frank Laubach witnessed, “I know what it means to be ‘God-intoxicated.’ Suzy, Your discovery of the freedom to gratitude sounds like the Christian “joy” that lubricates every circumstance of life with God washed insight and keeps at bay the bitterness of even the harshest circumstances, Thank You.
Thank you Suzy for this message. I have been dealing with two people very close to me that has severe anxiety. My prayers have been to be able to help them in any way. I am going to try to get them to try this. I have tried in other ways to help them see gratitude. To also change the way they think with no success. Simple and specific. Thank you for your words!