As we travel down the recovery road, there are many things that we need to understand in terms of getting from a condition of dependency on alcohol and drugs to one of independence. Not only do we become independent of our need for drinking and or using, but we also begin to resurrect ourselves in our daily lives. This is one of the most challenging, yet necessary things we will do in our journey. If we do not do this, we will relapse. If we find any happiness, it will be minimized and almost always short-lived. We must learn how to do more than just stop a behavior. We must learn how to exchange one negative behavior for a positive one. One of the most challenging things a person can do in life is let go of their negative past. Regardless of how difficult or destructive a person’s past was, walking away from it is not easy.

Most of us drag our past along with us as a child drags their previous blanket around with them. The child might have been given a new blanket, but there is something remarkably familiar and comforting about the old blanket.

Previous experiences and people often bring with them an emotional or psychological attachment. On one hand, this may seem harmless, but on the other hand, it can keep us divided when we need to be untied.

It is also my experience, that putting fresh water in a vessel with residue from the previous stale water will only lessen the purity and quality of the new water.

Most people try to stop one behavior and once that one behavior is stopped, they adopt/implement its replacement. I want to suggest another approach to removing the past negativity.

This approach is, what I call, The Exchange Theory of Recovery. In this Great Exchange, what we are doing is understanding the need to remove negative past thoughts, experiences, or people by exchanging them with something/someone more in line with the positive path we are choosing.

This may be challenging for some, but it is an easier transition than stopping as a separate act. Since we know the negative past must be removed and a new present is installed, why not allow the new to push out the old.

This is what I mean when I say, “The Great Exchange.” Removing the old is best done by introducing the new. Just as darkness is exchanged by introducing light, cold to warm, sadness is exchanged with happiness, the negative past is exchanged with a positive present.

Understanding things like this looks easier on paper than they do in real life, it is easier than some may think. I am going to give you five things I did/do to help ensure the negative past is exchanged with a positive present.

1. We must be “sick and tired of being sick and tired.” In other words, if we are not ready the exchange we will never start and if we start, we will not follow through.
2. Talk with others who you see as leading successful lives. I guarantee you everyone one of us leading successful lives have done so by practicing The Great Exchange.
3. Start small and work your way through exchanges that you have designated for change. Doing this piece meal is likely to prove more successful than trying to eat the apple in one bite. Remember, recovery is a journey not a destination.
4. Understand that there will be setbacks along the way. Therefore, we must start incrementally. Remember the story of “the tortoise and the hare.” The tortoise won the race.
5. Develop and cultivate a relationship with a “A Higher Power.” What we are looking to accomplish requires an insightful vision and power that is beyond our human understanding. A growing relationship in this arena will only add to our success.

The Great Exchange has been the most rewarding experience of my life. In the beginning, it was born from desperation. I now practice this theory with the anticipation of joy and happiness that comes from exchanging the negative past for a positive present. When this is successfully accomplished the future is brighter.