The first time I heard this phrase it hit me right in the face. It was so obvious. However, it meant I had to look at myself. Which meant it rubbed against my own pride—creating even more value for the simple phrase. I have said so many times that I never grow when I am comfortable. That is an easy thing to say in retrospect.
The discipline comes in being aware of when our thoughts start spinning in the past (which is unchangeable), or when they shift to the future (anxiety over an unknown), or when they start being about someone else’s choices or actions.
If you had told me five years ago that my life would look even more confounding on paper than it did currently, that I would be living with serenity and hope, my home would be a safe space for me, my children, and others, I would not have had the capacity to believe that. However, in fact, that is my story. In those 5 years, my son was diagnosed with a rare congenital heart condition. He has had four heart surgeries, three of them as an emergency. I am now a single parent to three teens. Their father is currently battling multiple cancers.
How many of us forget to charge our phones or devices daily? We rely on them for everything from business to our most intimate relationships. We know they do not work if they are not powered up. And so, it is with us. Why would I not avail myself the help my Higher Power willingly offers me? The eleventh step in Al-anon says, “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” In that spirit, after working the previous ten steps, I seek daily to be powered up in Him.
Step Ten suggests a daily honest appraisal of ourselves. I am human, and even the most rigorous undertaking of steps 1-9 will still leave me with room for daily and ongoing improvement. I can view this opportunity with resistance or a welcome chance to clean the slate each day.