One of the most damaging social and personal characteristics of addiction is the feeling of isolation. Have you ever felt alone and isolated to the point that it exposed a sense of loneliness in you? For the person of addiction, we live this way. For example, back in the mid-70s, I had gone to see a rock artist by the name of Jethro Tull. A group of friends of mine and I went to the Los Angeles Coliseum and we saw this concert with about 100,000 people. As strange as it may seem, during this concert while I was under the influence of alcohol and drugs, I can remember feeling alone, and yet I knew I was amid 100,000 people. I remember the awkwardness and confusion in feeling a particular way that was physically contrary to my situation. How could someone feel so alone and yet be with so many people? When I came to the program of recovery and understood that it was a fellowship of people who shared a past, present, and hopefully a future. Tradition one in Alcoholics Anonymous is “our common welfare should come first. Personal recovery depends upon AA unity.” This was my first introduction to “all for one and one for all.“ It was so refreshing and encouraging that I did not have to be alone anymore. That is when I investigated the room of recovery, I was home. I no longer had to wonder if I had to do this alone. I no longer had to wonder why I could be with so many people and yet feel isolated. The isolation had left me, and the feeling of camaraderie overtook me. I will never forget that initial realization that I had found the unity I had been searching for.
I came to believe that I was suffering primarily from a deep sense of loneliness brought on by personal and emotional disconnection. I realized that I grew up never quite feeling like I belong. I went back to my early days of drinking and using and realized it had a raced sense of fear that was brought on by not feeling a part of it. I have spoken to countless people over the years and found a common denominator. The feeling of being isolated in a crowd is a common denominator with many of us who suffer or suffered from addiction. The unity that is brought upon when realizing we are “all for one and one for all“ is transcending. That unity Tells me that drinking or using in other negative behaviors he is never going to fix me the way I need to be fixed. Being a part of other people’s lives and then being a part of mine is what I want all along. I hope you have found or do you find this to be true in your life. I hope you find that you “are all for one and one for all.”
Robert Pardon
Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.
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