Goodbye is Seldom Easy.
This is a letter I wrote to share after the passing of my AA Sponsor and dear friend, Jack Fisher. I hope you share all you can share with those while still living. Once someone passes, the opportunity is lost.
My name is Robert, and I am an alcoholic. My heart goes out to everyone who has ever lost someone near and dear to them. First, I want to encourage anyone who will read and if you are currently experiencing a sense of loss in your life, I grieve with you. I am especially sensitive to anyone who is new or relatively new to a program or path of recovery. If I have learned anything in my years of personal recovery, every person who enters has earned their seat. I have further come to believe that recovery is a program designed for a lifetime.
When we consider a person like Jack, we see how he lived his life with 44 years of personal recovery, and see that his approach to lifelong recovery is possible. I think one of the most challenging things that we face in early recovery is understanding that one day at a time is a design for living a lifetime. Thinking of Jack is hard to do with how great emotion being invoked. Jack was a giant in my life. I had come to know Jack shortly after I had relapsed with 71 days of sobriety. I was needing a new sponsor because my sponsor had moved away.
I had prayed and contemplated as to who God would want me to select as my sponsor. One day at the Turning Point Alano Club, Jack appeared around the corner. I was convinced it was Jack that God had chosen for me. When I told that to Jack he simply said “Who am I to argue with God. “The next few years Jack would prove to be instrumental in essentially every phase of my life. There was not a major decision that I made that did not include his opinion and in most cases direction and guidance. Jack became a friend of my family.
Jack knew my mom and dad and was instrumental in helping me walk through my father’s funeral at 2 1/2 years of recovery. Jack was friends with my wife and children. Jack was a deep personal friend to me. I carry Jack with me every day. It is something that I do. It is a little different knowing that he is not here physically. However, he lives in my heart as he does with so many of us. I carry him and his message wherever I go.
As I sat with Jack at his bedside a few days before he passed away, I asked Jack, with a sense of urgency, what he would want me to tell others about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. In simple “Jack” wisdom he looked at me and said, “Bob, tell them it works.” For those of you who know Jack, that makes perfect sense. Even on his death bed, Jack kept it simple.
My love and personal regard for Jack in my heart. The things he taught me will always be practiced in my life. I will continue to share his message of hope and light with others. He was more than a sponsor. He was all I ever asked for. His trusted leadership would guide me into recovery. Maybe you have said goodbye to someone who has meant as much to you as Jack did to me. Goodbyes, as such are never easy, but I am so grateful I was given the opportunity.
Robert Pardon
Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.
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