It is so tempting to be caught up beyond that which is in our control. One of the most powerful aspects of recovery is 0DAAT. If you are not familiar with those initials it simply means “one day at a time.“ As so many of us, while in my active addiction, I was so far out ahead of where my personal choices could take me. In the sport of snow skiing there is a term called “out over your skis.“ It is a way of teaching someone the dangers involved with skiing. In other words, it was about getting ahead of yourself. That is what happens when we lose focus of “today.“ It is not to say that we don’t look toward tomorrow, next week or any foreseeable future. What it does mean, is that it is not where we live. Obviously, a person who does not look ahead and plan for things in the future is a foolish person. The point is to take care of business today, while it is still today. Doing this will help ensure tomorrow, next week and even beyond. One of the casualties of our addictive life is the damage in relationships that occurs. When we come to recovery, we want those we have harmed to see we are trying to become a new person. Because we know what we have lost, we think others need to see us as we aspire to be rather than a work in progress. There is nothing wrong with us wanting them to view us as we are today and who we aspire to be moving forward. The reality is they won’t even see us as we are today. They will see us through the damage that we have created. We must remember that they see us this way because we trained them to see us this way. Not only are they not seeing us as who we are becoming, they are not even seeing us as who we are today. Often, this leads to frustration and can lead to a relapse. All the more reason we need to understand that it is about “today.” It is difficult enough for them not to see us as we are in this moment to add to that frustration could prove very damaging and if nothing else very frustrating in the moment. Today is our best friend. Let us learn to live in the moment and allow the other things to occur as they do. Remember, when we get to tomorrow, next week and beyond at some point those points in time will be “today.”
Robert Pardon
Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.
All posts by Robert Pardon