Years ago, I asked a friend of mine what three things I could do to ensure my lifelong recovery? After contemplating a bit, he asked if he could get back to me because he knew how important his response was to me. A couple days later he came back to me and he asked me to get a pencil and a piece of paper to write down this most important information. He sat back in his chair with his great wisdom, and he said gave me this list of the top three ways to recover.
Serve Yourself
The most important thing that you can do is to learn how to serve yourself. Not from a selfish and self-centered standpoint, but you truly serve yourself in a redeemable fashion. The kind of service that would cause you to be more of what you always wanted to be instead of less then what you currently are. If you can learn how to serve yourself in that fashion you are on your way Too late long recovery.
Serve God
The second thing he said for me to do was to serve God. He told me I likely lived my life waiting for God to serve me. Not only was I waiting for God to serve me it was always at my convenience when I wanted to be served, how I want it to be served and with what I wanted to be. This was not really being served at all but rather making convenient demands that fit my selfish and self-centered nature. True service, he went on to say, is reciprocal. Until I was willing to give what I was asking to be served I would never understand the value and power of service. Finally, I could not wait for the last thing he wanted me to do to have this lifelong recovery.
Serve Others
I waited with bated breath as he sat back in his chair of wisdom and said the third most important thing is to serve others. He knew enough about my life to see that all relationships I had, past and present and most likely future, were based in my self-righteous and self-centered perspective. He told me I did not have relationship, nor did I serve people. He told me that I took and kept hostages and manipulated them to coercion and other passive aggressive means to serve myself and not them. He told me to look at my life and take my inventory as to who was being served in these three areas. When I looked at my own personal relationship with myself it was obvious. No one who is serving oneself would have such a negative life. I then looked at my relationship with God and realized I was acting like God was soap on a rope. That God only had value to me when there was something I needed to promote my negative lifestyle. Finally, and to my shame I fully understood how I misstreated others while I said I was serving them and treating them with the dignity and respect that they deserved.
So, the top three things that you and I can do in our Quest for permanent recovery is to serve, serve and serve. Be blessed and have a great day.
Robert Pardon
Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.
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