One of the things that are built into healthy relationships is making amends. I think this is universal and something that everyone should keep in mind as we explore a healthy balance in our relationships. If this is true for the average person, how much more is it true for the person who has struggled with addiction and or behavioral challenges. As necessary as feeling sorry is it is not as helpful as making amends. I hope that whatever recovery or life path you are on Includes a personal examination of those we have harmed with the resolve to make things right.
Sorry is feeling regret, compunction, sympathy, pity, regrettable or deplorable; unfortunate; tragic:
Amend(s) means to alter, modify, rephrase, or add to or subtract from (a motion, bill, constitution, etc.) by formal procedure: to change for the better; improve, to remove or correct faults in; rectify. It means to grow or become better by reforming oneself.
The Amends process is simple in its concept, yet only for the most courageous.
- Search our inter-most selves for the truth of how we conducted our relationships
- Be willing to take personal responsibility for ANY negative outcome
- Share what we have found with the person(s) we have harmed
- Make a daily resolve to become a person that others can trust
- Continue to monitor relationships to make any amends and adjustments along the way
Above all, remain in the direction of our personal recovery. As my dear friend Slo-Will says “Clear away the wreckage of your present to prevent it from becoming the wreckage of your past.”
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Robert Pardon
Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.
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