If there is anything I have learned about life is that it occurs with or without my permission. Obviously, if it only occurred with my permission only what I wanted when I wanted would it worked for me.
Since that is not the case, I learned early on in recovery that I had to live life on life’s terms. I also learned that, for the most part, I could at least have say in life’s course based on what I did or did not do.
As Bill Wilson so aptly stated (page 133 Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous), “Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.” In other words, don’t be my own enemy, but if needed rely on God to see me through.
This might seem logical for the person who hasn’t suffered from addiction or a behavioral dysfunction, but to those of us who have this is something we have to learn as a child would learn how to walk. The great Zig Ziglar said “You can tell some of a man’s character when he wins and you can tell it all when he loses.”
In recovery, I would paraphrase to say, you can see how a person says they handle life when everything is going their way and you can what they are really made of when their apple cart gets turned upside down.
What to do when life throws us a curve and we are left hurting.
- Develop an unshakable relationship with God
- Stay close to those who value add to your life
- Always have a gratitude list ready to go
- Be active in serving others
- Get and maintain closure
- Wash, rinse, repeat
If we do these things over and over and apply good decision making along the way, if won’t keep us from hurting, but it will be better equipped to Heal While Hurting.
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Robert Pardon
Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.
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