“Humbly asked God to remove our shortcomings”
If the word “humbly” makes you feel uncomfortable, like me, you were messaged to confuse humility with humiliation. If the word “asked” makes you feel uncomfortable, you were likely taught to do everything yourself, to depend on no one. And finally, if the word “shortcomings” causes you to squirm, perhaps you have lived with an exaggerated sense of all that is wrong with you, instead of a balanced awareness of your gifts and flaws—your humanity.
These are a few of the reasons step seven can seem daunting when first encountered. Everything up until now has not asked God to remove anything; only to add. We just must be willing. It is God’s work to do. My part is a willingness that needs to be changed. It requires daily conscious contact with my higher power so that He can reveal and remove that which no longer serves me.
At this point in my recovery journey, I have realized how many of those shortcomings have made my life unmanageable. Without a humble awareness, it was easy to blame someone else for the things that were showing up in my life. I now know that many of those defects were actually hiding an asset. It was not that I was going to lose myself in this process of refining; it is that God would be able to reveal the absolute best parts of me, that without recovery, would’ve remained hidden.
Step seven is ongoing work. If I can maintain rigorous honesty about myself and how alcoholism affected me and my family, and how that plays out in my relationships today, I am free to recognize old patterns and develop healthier coping strategies. The closer I am aligned with my higher power the more natural this shift becomes. It is important that I see God as having a tremendous amount of compassion for my humanity. If I have the humility to ask for help, I will receive it.
At my sponsor’s suggestion, I wrote down some of the shortcomings of which I was already aware. Things like fear, worry, anger, control, resentment, obsessive thought, people-pleasing… I wrote them each on a strip of paper, and then one at a time asked God to begin the work of removing these as I dropped the piece of paper into a fire. Obviously, the work inside of my heart takes longer than a piece of paper does to burn, but it was very symbolic and cathartic for me to embrace this step. I knew I was ready to have God do this work in me.
This step was powerful in my journey. I do not have to do this myself. I have proven to myself I cannot do it alone. God never asked me to. He was with me in my past. He will go with me into my future. I can say I recognize my need, my absolute dependence, and paradoxically that brings me profound freedom.
So courage, my friend, as you humbly embrace the surrender to the God of your understanding. I am grateful for the ongoing refining of step seven.
“Humility will help us see ourselves in true perspective and keep our minds open to the truth.” -Alcoholism, The Family Disease.
“Humility is not having a need to be more than you are.”- Dr. Henry Cloud
