One of our most important opportunities in our personal recovery is discovering who we are. Regardless of what we are using, we go through life sideways and the result is the same. We lose sight of who we are and at the end of it all we don’t have an identity. I think this a big contributor as to why people relapse.
We’re not sure who we are. If we think we know, we don’t like who we are. A great example of this is during Father Martin’s chalk talk. In this example Father Martin is explaining how alcohol, and we can assign this to other behaviors as well, prevents a person from revealing what they think. In this example a person has undergone a surgical procedure and has been anesthetized. As they are coming out it they are asked a question and give a non-sensible response. The suggestion is to wait for the person to recovery from the effects of the anesthesia before they can expect the person to make sense. This might help ensure that they get an answer that makes sense. Let’s get the person sober before their answers to life makes sense.
A profound notion that has been taught in Alcoholics Anonymous is the notion that sobriety is not enough. Sobriety here is defined as the absence of alcohol. There’s a tremendous book called As Bill Sees It. This book is a compilation of Bill Wilson’s writings. Bill W. is the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. On page 227, Bill writes, “We feel a man unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough”. The analogy Is a farmer and his wife who are in a storm cellar experiencing a tornado. When they come up from the tornado the farmer says to his wife, despite the devastation, that it is good that the wind stopped blowing.
He failed to see all the damage that the tornado had caused. Considering what it is designed to represent, sobriety, or merely the lack of alcohol or drugs, is not enough. In the beginning, our greatest victory will be daily abstaining from substances/negative behavior. After a while, that won’t be enough. For long lasting sobriety, we must discover The Real Me. We must learn to live our life in a fashion consistent with our understanding. It might be the greatest challenge of our sobriety.
- Make a daily commitment to abstain from using
- Find a plan of recovery that has worked for others
- Adopt the plan and be daily committed to it
- Become accountable to someone who has worked and is working the plan
- Chart the growth you have experienced
- Stay on target and accountable
- Don’t be afraid to discover “The Real Me
- Learn to like and love The Real Me
- Share what you have learned.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS
Robert Pardon
Robert is the Recovery Guy. Getting clean and sober on April 25, 1986 has given me the insight and practical skill set to not only stay sober, but to also re-invent myself to the person I always wanted to become. Showing others how to do this is my life goal.
All posts by Robert Pardon