“We are only as sick as our secrets” is a quote attributed to AA. I promise its validity extends to all areas of wellness and recovery. The fifth step says, “Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” This was the step that’s seemed impossible the first time I read it.
The Great Exchange has been to most rewarding experience of my life. In the beginning, it was born from desperation. I now practice this theory with the anticipation of joy and happiness that comes from exchanging the negative past for a positive present. When this is successfully accomplished the future is more bright.
Depression comes in many shapes and sizes and from varying sources. There are many variables when it comes to these sources, but what is universal is what depression does to us.
Many years ago, I was introduced through John Bradshaw, Bradshaw on the Family, John introduced me to the term homeostasis. This is an interesting term, and it helps focus on what happens within a family dynamic when you have a person of influence being addicted to a substance and or behavior. Homeostasis is essentially a family trying to keep their psychological balance because of the tension that is elevated in the home because of the person acting out.
My name is Robert, and I am an alcoholic. My heart goes out to everyone who has ever lost someone near and dear to them. First, I want to encourage anyone who will read and if you are currently experiencing a sense of loss in your life, I grieve with you. I am especially sensitive to anyone who is new or relatively new to a program or path of recovery. If I have learned anything in my years of personal recovery, every person who enters has earned their seat. I have further come to believe that recovery is a program designed for a lifetime.
As we travel life’s highway and navigate the roads and obstacles along the way one thing remains clear. That one thing is to maintain a degree of positivity. There are so many things in this world that we cannot control. I cannot control how someone treats me, how the world or universe views me or how a situation may turn out without my permission. Because these things are true and could create a degree of negativity the only recourse, I have is to remain positive despite the negativity. I need to take charge of my life.
Every person who accomplishes something great rarely achieves the result on their own. At time the value of other’s contribution is lost in the moment. Sometimes, we like to think that we had an original idea, which is exceedingly rare. We may have an idea that is piggybacking off something else. Most things original are another version of something that has been previously done. Once we realize that we received help along the way it elevates those who have made a difference in our life. The value of others contributing is expanded in the moment rather than lost. If we lose them in the moment, we do not carry them forward with us and that would be unfortunate.
What makes a bottom so dangerous, outside of all those we have harmed along the way, at some point that bottom is death and there is no coming back from death. It is sad to consider that more people die from addiction than those who recover and become well. The reason for that is most alcoholics and drug addicts die on their way down and hitting their bottom is just a finality to a death that was inevitable. I hope you have hit your bottom and I hope you have seen the need for “Bottoms Up.”
Let me say, that if marijuana in Its varying forms is medically indicated in prescribed by a clinician and or position then of course a person should use it. I would not want to have knee surgery without adequate pain medication for my recovery, nor would I want to be a cancer patient who could hardly keep down food if marijuana would help me keep that food down or if I have a psychiatric disorder to take a non-narcotic psychotropic drug. This is not what we are talking about though when we talk about California sober.
The reason so many of us put off starting later and not now is because of fear. In this particular blog the “HOW” stands for honesty, open- mindedness, and willingness. We find it near impossible to be any of these three things let alone being them simultaneously. If I am honest I have to admit that I have a problem. That goes 100% counter to protecting the supply because that supply is my medication of which I need to get through life.
While living in that hall of mirrors, I didn’t see myself clearly. I couldn’t view my assets or character flaws in a manner that could serve me. Instead, I was so busy looking at someone else’s character flaws that I couldn’t make an honest assessment of my role in the unmanageability of my own life. Step 4 says we “made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
One of the other things that are so important to ascertain is whether or not it is morally right and fair to everyone. I also need to know if it is consistent with my other goals. That should be obvious. I want to also understand if I reach all the objectives of the dream will my life be improved.